So, 7 things, huh?  Curse you @TBMimsTheThird.  Cause I can't compete with you...or @Jessebelle2o7. Fuck, who can compete with @Jessebelle2o7? For shit's sake. I have no Craigslist ad.  

And you all know that if and when @sloganeerist gets around to this, we're all screwed. For he's quite possibly the funniest motherfucker I've ever had the opportunity to know (via the internet...I wouldn't know him if I stumbled into him on the street).

My 7 Things:

One.  I was that snotty cheerleader you all hated in high school. The blond one that tanned too much and dated the quarterback who was also the homecoming king. All I can say about that is I'm sorry. For everyone involved. It actually makes me cringe to think back to high school.

I grew up a little in college. Living 770 miles away from home will do that. I ended up following the quarterback to college - to a school where he could play football. And after we graduated, we got married and had two beautiful little girls. Fast forward to 2008. That's when the wheels fell off.

Two.  In the past year I've learned how strong I am. And also how weak. 8 months ago my husband and I separated after nearly 20 years together. Definitely the hardest thing I've ever been through. Mostly because of my girls. I now share custody of them. So the precious time I had with my kids (I'm a working mom) was instantly cut by 50%. I have surprised myself with my ability to hold it together and exist independently. I have been surprised at my maturity and my openness to this new situation.  

I have also been surprised at my weakness. Usually ill-timed moments of tears or depression that are hard to shake. I sometimes don't see it coming. And I don't always know how to pull out of it. But I always do. (Sometimes with a little prescribed pharmaceutical assistance that I like to call my "crazy pills.")  

But the last few months has taught me one important thing: there is no sense in regret. I regret none of the decisions I've made. They've all taught me something and they're why I am who I am. And it doesn't suck to be me.

Three.  I work for a company that can only be described as cross between Days of our Lives and a three-ring circus. I'm in advertising. Or if you're a complete douchebag, you likely call it Integrated Marketing & Communications. I think all agencies are steeped in drama. But I can say with confidence that there are few that could hold a candle to this one. I'm fairly certain that if I could dictate the ridiculousness of my days to someone with some writing talent that we could create a pretty fucking fantastic sitcom.

Four.  Though I was born and raised in the Midwest, I am a southerner at heart. I went to college in Mississippi and lived in Memphis for 5 years. There is a grace about the South that draws me in. If my family weren't here in the Midwest, I'd be in Memphis. And speaking with a slightly southern accent. But not one of those southern belles with the mint julep on the front porch. I am NOT that person. And mint juleps taste like dirty ass.

Five.  I obsess. And overthink. I cannot help myself. I analyze and re-read and invent scenarios that don't exist and convince myself they're true. Call it neuroses. Call it paranoia or low self esteem.  I worry. A lot. About everything. If there is nothing to worry about, I will invent something. It's debilitating.  

Six.  I shave my legs every single day. I have to. I can't sleep if I don't. It drives me absolutely shitty nuts to have prickly legs rubbing against each other.  

Seven.  This year, rather than coming up with a long list of stupid resolutions that I know I'll never keep, I'm coming up with two per month; one for me and one for my kids. Mine for January is to give up sweets. This is big. Very big. No cookies, cake, candy, soda, etc. I've gone 11 days. 11 DAMN DAYS!!  

My resolution to my kids this month is to read a classic to them - chapter by chapter - every night at bedtime. I mean a real book. Not that Junie B. Jones shit (cause we've already read all of them!).   

Next month, I'll add two more.  

That's my 7 things. Now I can check it off my list and stop worrying about it.

Oh, crap. The tagging thing. I have no idea who has been hit and who hasn't...

@katiekomp

@MsHiss

@leftbrainstupid

@kellyferry

@LameBush

@gurleygurl

@bdix

@dwineman